| | Date: Friday, May 6
Substances: Marijuana & Psilocybe cubensis; 3 medium caps, 4 small
Setting: In my house
My friend brought up the idea of shrooming early in the day and I was contemplating it all through school. It had been raining off and on for the last couple of days and it was bright & sunny now; we decided to go. We drove off to the field with high hopes but didn't have much luck for awhile. We would find a small patch here and there but it took us an hour to find enough to provide each of us a trip. We were both starving, and decided that we had enough shrooms so he dropped me off back at my house. (My friend is actually grounded so I couldn't share this trip with him.) I decided on doing the shrooms that night and was extremely excited since I hadn't done shrooms in over a year. I asked my mom her plans for the night and discovered that she would be gone for the next 4 hours. (That's always a beautiful thing to hear.)  Once she left, I went to work preparing the tea and quickly drank it.
I felt the onset in a hurry and a slight amount of nausea to go along with it. I decided on some bud to clear out the nausea and as I prepared a bowl, I noticed the floor and walls getting wavy. Smoking really eased me into the experience and made the beginning quite peaceful. For the next hour or so, I remember wandering around my house, staring at anything and everything because all colors seemed so miraculous. It was like seeing colors for the first time. I enjoyed how everything warped, shifted, and waved and I wanted to reach out and touch the waves. There were no patterns that I can recall.
The next thing I know, the doorbell rings. I, of course am startled as hell but am very curious to see who is at the door. I go galloping full speed to the door and peer out the window; friends! I opened the door to welcome them but my friend F's speed talking overwhelms me. He mentioned something about borrowing my car to get cigarettes from the store. I grab the keys without thinking and hand them over; he then asks me to come along. I hop in the back-seat and we pull away. I don't quite remember when it happened, but I started getting extremely paranoid and the only thing I was thinking of is getting home before my mother did. I nagged F until he finally took me home to my empty house. I really wanted to be alone again and decided it would be best if they left.
The relief of lonesome was glorious, and then next thing on my list of things to do was watch a movie. "I Heart Huckabees" was sitting out, and I had never seen it. I popped it in and began quite an exciting journey. For those of you who have not seen "I Heart Huckabees", WATCH IT!! This movie is incredible and quite a mindfull, even when you are sober I'm told. The movie sent me on an introspective quest, where I feel that I gained more enlightenment than any other drug-induced or sober experience in my past. The following is what I wrote down the next day, concluding what I learned:
"There are 3 levels of existence and humans are stuck in the middle. The first level would be animals other than humans. They don't have the brain power to question existence and for that they are blessed. They can go through life with there basic needs of food, water, and sleep and be perfectly happy. Humans are the next level up, we continually question our purpose in life (like we really need one) and we all must know what happens when we die & why everything works the way it does. Fighting over beliefs will probably be the cause of our extinction. The final, third level of existence, I believe is attained when you die or at certain instances in your life where you feel no other need than to simply be. This can be attained through drugs but you are always sucked back in by stupid human concerns when the high or trip ends. I suppose this third level has been attained permanently by some who have been "enlightened" (thinking from a religious viewpoint) such as the Dalai Lama. I think that all creatures obtain this third state (that I like to call oneness) when they die; they are finally shut off and can now become a part of the earth. As for the existence theory, I don't think the infinity theory is correct, but I put my faith in the "blanket" theory (if you have seen "I Heart Huckabees"). It sort of states that we are all connected as one, all life, inanimate objects, stars, molecules etc. When you squeeze your fist really hard, you can feel that oneness with the air and all that is around you by the wrapping of that energy around and around into that one central point. (That was quite a discovery for me while tripping  ) Falling in love is a great way of numbing yourself and probably the best way to get through life though it can bring out many ugly human emotions if something goes wrong. I find myself questioning "why do I need to think like that", "why must I do this", and "why do I need to feel these emotions"...but it's all rather simple; we are all so extremely influenced and brainwashed since birth to think the way we do, to feel the need to stay healthy and live as long as possible, to feel the need to experience certain emotions from certain things. In the end, I realize that I will just go back to sleep in my fake wonderland and wake up and be a zombie, acting how I have been taught to act and experiencing what I'm told to experience. It's all kind of pathetic but that's how it goes...you just have to make the best of it."
I believe these thoughts were brought on by more than "I Heart Huckabees". I also currently read a book entitled "Feed" by M.T. Anderson that I STRONGLY recommend to all. I still find myself questioning "why" much more than usual and it's something I really thank these mushrooms for: giving me a completely different viewpoint towards existence. I have had psychedelic experiences before but have never gained such a wisdom from them. Mushrooms are my new favorite substance and I strongly recommend their usage.
Peace to all and Happy Tripping
"Life is like walking from one side of infinite darkness to another, on a bridge of dreams." |
| | Posted 5/16/2005 9:28 PM - 10 Views - 2 eProps - 2 comments
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